When we are born we immediately seek touch. New born babies will cry until they are held and cuddled. The touch of another human being is so soothing and gives the baby a sense of security. It bonds them to their caregivers whether it be a birth mother and father or an adoptive mother and father. Touch allows the baby to know it is cared for, loved and wanted. From the first breath we take, we are seeking and in need of the touch of another human being. It is one of the most basic needs we have as humans and one of the most held back and neglected part of our relationships today. Why is that?
I believe our experiences drive our beliefs and views on touch. For some it may be a religious belief, for others it may be the result of trauma and for others it could be years of neglect. Maybe touch was painful through the formative years through abuse and neglect so the now grown child never knew touch could be beautiful. Maybe, as a child, the adult never had touch so they do not understand the value and the importance of it so they label it a boundary because they really do not understand why they feel that way. Maybe, as an adult, they went through neglect and weren’t touched for so long that all they need and want is the touch of another human being. Maybe the example set by the parents was one of no physical contact or the opposite, a lot of physical contact. Every interaction we have with others molds our views and our needs and desires differently but at the very core of our nature, we seek, need and desire touch because we were born that way.
Why is physical touch so important? It is a gift from our Creator and a healing balm in an otherwise dark dark world. Our bodies were created for touch. Our skin, our largest organ, was designed for protection but also for touch. The sense of touch our skin has sends signals to the brain about our environment, lets us know we are injured and also gives us the greatest sense of pleasure when touched. We are designed for human contact. Sit back for a moment, close your eyes and remember the last time your were touched by your loved one. Was it a hug? A caress? A kiss? What did the skin to skin contact do to your body?. Did it increase pleasure? Did it spark desire? Did it calm you in a storm? Did it give you a sense of love and security?
The effects of touch are widely spread throughout the body both physically and emotionally. Go back to the same memory. How did you feel emotionally? Did you feel loved? Did you feel wanted? Needed? Desired? Secure? Happy? Joy? Excitement? What emotions followed the touch? How did it affect you? Touch is a cornerstone of human relationship and without it relationships die. Touch is needed to create connection. It is how we associate our partners desire for us. It is how we feel acceptance. It is an integral part of healthy human relationship and is one of the most lost aspects of relationships today. With social media, video games and television driving our minds today, touch is the last thing we think we need or want and in the end, it was the one thing we all need most.
Without touch, we die in one way or another. Slowly. Our relationships whither away and so does our emotional state. We are a human race in need of touch to survive and yet we slowly allow ourselves and others to whither away and die in this dark cold world. Why is that? Isn’t it time we stop being like the world? Isn’t it time we buck the norm and touch each other? Hug each other? Show each other how much we love each other? Maybe today you can hug a stranger, snuggle your spouse and hold your child a little longer. The world today tells you to be distracted and that you don’t need to be touched, dont be of this world. Be all in and touch someone, love someone and enjoy the benefits that come with it!