Husbands Love Your Wives Part 5 | Holy Hygge Marriage

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Marriage is not an easy route. Two different beings become one and together they face this world overrun with temptations and distractions. Now, more than ever, it is important for us to truly understand how to keep our marriages intact and strong in Christ. Ephesians 5 gives us one of the most dynamic views of how both husband and wife can come together as one and have a lasting relationship that is calm, peaceful and full of love.  In Part 1 and Part 2 we looked at mutual submission, Part 3 covered wives submission to their husbands, Part 4 what God meant by everything and today we will begin a look at the husbands part in a strong marital foundation looks like.

Before moving forward, please know that as wives it is not our “job” to point out to our husbands what they are doing “wrong” in accordance with the Word of Yahuah. It is our job to pray his heart into a closer walk with Christ. It is our job to encourage his love of the Father and stand firmly in our own responsibilities to God as laid out in scripture. Understanding our husbands role in marriage should do two things: show us how to pray in accordance to the Father’s word on our husbands role and give us eyes to see where he is excelling and utilize those moments to lift him up in encouragement.

Ephesians 5 is a lot to unpack and this particular part is one I want us to fully understand so that our hearts will automatically look for the good in our husbands and give us proper soul nourishment for prayer and our ability to love him through Gods eyes. Notice the role of the husband and how the scripture comes back to us as wives at the end. Friends, our role as wives is great and now,  more than any other time in history, we need to step into our roles as roaring lions against the advances of the devil in our marriages.

Ephesians 5: 25 – 33: (AMP)

25 Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God], 27 so that [in turn] He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy [set apart for God] and blameless. 28 Even so husbands should and are morally obligated to love their own wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own body, but [instead] he nourishes and protects and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members (parts) of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined [and be faithfully devoted] to his wife, and the two shall become [a]one flesh32 This mystery [of two becoming one] is great; but I am speaking with reference to [the relationship of] Christ and the church. 33 However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of loving-kindness], and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].

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“Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also love the church and gave himself up for her” (NASB)  This is key in a marriage that lasts. When a man loves a woman and gives himself up for her he will find a woman who always seeks the best for him.  There are two parts to this command : love her and give yourself up for her. Love is simple right? We know what love is and we know how to give it. The problem is, we might know how to receive it in the way it is given. Men will show love in the ways they know how: protection, provision and so on. They have been socially molded by society to be hardened and tough. They are not as emotional as women are. Women want, and need, love that includes affection, desire and attention to details so that we feel noticed for that clean kitchen or that makeup and outfit that took us over an hour to accomplish. there are big differences between man and woman yet we were created to come together as one.

As wives we are called to submit and let our husbands be the head of the house. Being the head of the house includes understanding their wives needs and giving themselves up so that her needs are met. A strong man of God will understand that once he is married he made a promise to the Father to give himself up for his wife. He knows its no longer “i will do what I want to do” but rather ‘I will do what the Father calls me to do.”   

Giving himself up for his wife is letting go of what he thinks she needs  or what he wants to give her and instead learning her needs and making sure they are met.

When a husband gives himself up for the wife he strengthens the marriage on a very deep level that is blessed by the Father as it shines His glory into the marriage and out into the world as a example. When he gives himself up for  his wife love flows freely, in all the ways a man knows to give it and in ways he never knew he could give it. This is one way a man submits himself to his Creator: by giving himself up for his wife.  It is not enough to just love his wife, a man is called to give himself up for her so that she can be sanctified. That is part of being the head of the household. It is a serious call to be a husband, just as it is a wife. We both are equally called to give ourselves to each other, to give up ourselves to Christ, and submit to one another in the ways our Father has commanded.

In Part 6 we will discover how our husbands self-sacrificing behavior of giving himself up sanctifies us as a wife and how we can pray for husbands who do not fully understand this part of their role as head of household.

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