Winter has always held a sublime holiness in my mind. When the white snow is freshly fallen, with not one footstep indenting its glory, I see a glimpse of what washed clean feels like.
Crisp. Clean. Calm. Present.
And the snowflakes, each one different yet magnificent, coming together in a chaotic dance to form the beauty of the winter landscape. Their presence reminds me of the significance of my existence and my attendance in the wintry seasons of my life.
There can be no winter landscape without the attendance of the unique yet beautiful snowflakes and there can be no new seasons in my life if I am not present.
Through the years I have been a very real presence in the lives of my loved ones. I have loved well. I have lived with the best intentions for their lives. I have stood beside them in the chaos that we resided in. I have been present in the 35+ moves we made in the last 30 years of my adult life. I have been present in the illnesses and the healing. I have been present in the childbirth and in death. I have been present in marriage and divorce. I have been present in fostering and adopting. I have been present in mental illness and in moments of clarity. My presence, next to my loved ones, has helped create the landscape of my last 50 years.
But 50 is a foreign land for me. My landscape is different and the others who helped create it are far away. My children are grown. I now live far away from my kids and grandkids, far from old friends and family. No longer will there be a chaotic dance for me to engage in.
I am still. Very still. The winter storm is over. The snowflakes have danced and landed in their destinations. The calm, silent landscape is deafening. I find myself in an uncharted season known as mid life and I am slowly finding my way out into this quiet landscape that leaves me breathless.
Today, as I stood in my silent and snow covered yard, I realized the fear I have battled these past few months has been dissipating. I am overcoming the “empty nest” depression and beginning to embrace this new season and in the deafening silence I heard life spoken into my weary dry bones:
“My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant. Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name. His mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts. He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, according to the promise he made to our ancestors, to Abraham and to his descendants forever.” Luke 1: 46-55
And in that moment, the fear that winter will turn into spring without any hope of joy disappeared. I am ready for the sew season of growth coming soon.
The Magnificat Project is coming and in it, those who are reaching middle age, those who are in the midst of great change, those who are facing trials too heavy to carry, those who are seeking and are lost….together we will grow and magnify the glory of God in every aspect of our lives.
Welcome…… I am so happy you are here!
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